Sabine's Hats
by mistyblue814
Summary: Sabine makes a rookie mistake and takes off her helmet during a mission. Because of this, her hair gets damaged and forces her to shave it all off. After seeing how his crew mate is affected, Zeb gets an idea about how art can make her feel better.


**_A/N: fic inspired by a post on tumblr's swrrequest with the post 'a mission leaves Sabine's hair in such a bad state that they have no choice but to shave it all off'' Lots of space family fluff_**

Sabine didn't realize just how badly her hand was shaking as she moved it up to the top of her head. In the mirror it didn't look like it was shaking, in fact it looked still, solid, ready. But she wasn't. Even though she had moved the razor over her head and watched the hair fall and she was looking in the mirror now, feeling the short stubs against her palm and fingers still did not seem real. It seemed like a horrifying nightmare. She was still expecting to feel the fine hair between her fingers, but there was none. It was gone. It was all gone.

Sabine knew that it wouldn't be forever, but hair did take some time to grow. It wasn't like she could wear her helmet forever. She knew that the crew members wouldn't say anything against it for her sake, and wouldn't make her feel any different. But to her it was a thing of shame. It was hair and she knew that she shouldn't have so much vanity but it was a part of her, after what happened between her and her parents it was a way to harness herself, to show herself and her personality. It was a way of taking herself back, to show off her visible rebellion not just to the Empire but to her parents by using non traditional colours and mixes. It was a visible way to show her rebellion and her stand for and connection to it.

That was gone now.

And the short hair was proof of her stupidity. She should have kept her helmet on. It was a purpose of protection. She should have looked more carefully at the tank. If she had seen the dents then she would have known to be more cautious. She was always in a rush. She should have slowed it down. Despite having so much smoke around her, no matter how hard it was to see in the helmet, she should have kept it on. She should have expected that heat and explosions would have come, that her hair would have caught fire. She was so stupid. There were so many things she should have done and this was proof of it.

Sabine didn't realize that she was crying until she couldn't see herself in the mirror. It was all a blob. Sabine moved her hand down slowly and gripped the edge of the sink, needing something to ground herself as she breathed in deeply. She needed to something to hold on to.

She didn't know how long she was just quiet, gripping the sink before she heard a knock at the bathroom door. She jumped, a hiccup in her breath. She trembled slightly from the after effects of the jump before hearing Hera's voice.

"Sabine?" it was soft and gentle yet quietly cautious. It was like Hera didn't want to scare away a baby animal. "Sabine, can I come in?"

The Mandalorian was quiet for a few seconds. Instead of answering Hera verbally, she just reached behind her and carefully pressed down on the knob so that the door would open. She heard the click and the small clinking creak of the door opening and Sabine moved her hand back to where it was before.

On the other side, Hera waited patiently before her frown deepening as the only answer she received was the door opening. The door only opened lightly, but it was enough for Hera to know what it meant. Carefully, Hera took a step forward and gently pushed on the door so it would open more and she could push herself in. She took in a deep breath, hoping it was silent and Sabine didn't hear it before fully taking a step in, moving past the opening of the door and stepping into the refresher fully.

Hera shut the door behind her so that the boys wouldn't be able to easily overhear anything.

When the Twi'lek _did_ finally focus on Sabine, she was frozen in place for a couple of moments. She had expected that there might be some tears, she imagined what Sabine with her hair shaved off would look like so she wasn't too surprised, but she wasn't expecting Sabine to be trembling. She was surprised by how her shoulders were bare, and shaking, how nothing hung down in bright colours anymore. It was all short, not even longer than her fingernail.

For a moment, her breath caught in her throat and she had to try and swallow it before carefully walking to her, as though not to scare her. Sabine looked similar to a frightened little creature right now.

"Oh…" Hera carefully moved her hands over Sabine's arms before placing them there. She wanted Sabine to know what she would do so she wouldn't react too negatively to it, "Sabine…"

Sabine sniffed. Hera could tell she was trying to keep her voice strong.

"I-I know it's just hair…I know I shouldn't be so up-upset but…" Sabine sniffed again, her voice breaking by the end.

Hera carefully moved Sabine. She pulled the girl gently from the sink so that her hands would let go and guided the girl to her chest and in her arms so that Hera could hold and comfort her.

"It'll be okay," Hera told her. "It'll grow back."

"I know!" Sabine told her, "I know! I know it will! I don't know why I'm so upset…"

She sniffed again, trying to hold in a small sob. Hera felt Sabine hide her face in her shoulder to help her try and hold in her tears.

The Captain held her tightly, carefully rubbing her back to try and comfort her. Even though Hera did not have hair herself, she understood. It was a way for Sabine to represent herself. It was a way for Sabine to harness and show her energy and personality. It was a way of expressing and representing who she was and what she stood for while also expressing what she rebelled against. The colours always had meaning just as much as the colour on her armour. She knew it was important for Sabine. Hera just didn't know how to fix it.

~.~

Kanan, Ezra, and Zeb all waited anxiously in the common room. Both Jedi could sense the hard and painful feelings their crewmate had and even though Zeb couldn't, he could tell by how long it was since Hera went into the refresher that it was bad and Sabine was very upset. Ezra and Zeb kept looking at the clock to try and check how long it was.

It was about fifteen minutes later when they heard the door open again. All three stood at better attention, but Zeb and Ezra didn't see Hera and Sabine come down the hall. Instead, they heard footsteps get further from them. After a couple more minutes, they only heard one pair of footsteps come towards them and soon, Hera appeared from the hallway. The Twi'lek was frowning and looked between them.

"How is she?" Zeb asked, keeping his voice low. He didn't want to make it seem like they were talking about Sabine behind her back, but he didn't know if it would make Sabine feel bester if she heard their conversation now.

Hera sighed and answered after a moment of silence.

"She's really upset," Hera admitted. "…she was crying."

Their frowns deepened and Hera watched Zeb's ears weep down slightly.

"Maybe we should talk to her," Kanan offered.

Hera shook her head.

"No," she answered, "I…don't think she's ready for you all to see her yet…and she wants to be alone."

"I don't think it's good that she's alone," Ezra commented.

"She knows we don't care how she looks, right?" Zeb asked.

Hera nodded and answered them, taking a few steps forward.

"Ezra, she needs time to process this. Let her have some time," Hera started before turning to Zeb. "And she knows, but…she lost a big part of how she expresses herself. Her hair was a way to show her rebellion and singularity. It was really hard for her to cut it off."

The boys nodded, settling back in the couch. They looked at each other before turning back to Hera.

"What should we do?" Ezra asked her.

Hera bit her lip before she shrugged helplessly, moving to sit on a crate that was near her.

"I don't know," Hera admitted worriedly. "I'm thinking that we just act like normal. We don't make too big of a deal of it…or we tell her it looks good…I don't know."

The others nodded.

"Maybe it's something that we just play on hand," Kanan expressed verbally. "We go by her reactions."

"It may be the best we can do," Hera agreed.

Zeb sighed and told them, "I can make us something." It would give Hera a bit of a break.

The Twi'lek smiled softly.

"Thanks, Zeb." Hera sighed. One less thing for her to do. She could think of ways to help Sabine.

The Lasat nodded, moving up from the couch.

"Don't mention it," Zeb told them, "my turn to make something anyways."

Hera gave him a small smile of relief. It was one less thing she had to worry about.

"Thank you, Zeb," she sighed. It would be hard to focus on making something, worrying about Sabine, and looking over the ship's electrical system to see if they need any fixes.

Zeb shrugged and told them as he made his way out of the room, "I hope you're ready for stew. I'm going to use up whatever scraps we have."

"I encourage it," Hera called after him.

~.~

Despite the ship smelling good for hours as the contents stewed together for flavour, the dinner was short, awkward, and quiet. Kanan helped Ezra to set up the bowls at the table, but as everyone came, it got instantly, deathly quiet.

Hera had to coax Sabine out of her room to eat something as the boys sat down, already eating to try and establish some type of normalcy, but it was hard to deter their eyes from Sabine when she slowly and silently walked into the room, her head hung a bit in a way that Zeb never remembered ever seeing it as before. Her eyes were cast down and she did not meet theirs, not wanting to just yet. Zeb noticed how she had placed a handkerchief like cloth and tied it around her head so that you couldn't really see how the hair was cut, you just couldn't see hair. Still though, the non-bright colour and how there was nothing there was still enough of a change. It didn't blindside Zeb, but it was all he could do not to stare and make Sabine feel more self conscious.

The Mandalorian barely looked up as she slowly ate the stew. She spent most of her time clinking the spoon against the side or moving some of the vegetables around, turning them over before eating them.

No one offered to talk. No one offered any conversation. It was just a long time of silence before Sabine finished the bowl and placed it on the counter. She muttered a 'thanks Zeb' before going back to her room.

When she was gone and they heard her door shut, Hera looked up and at everyone.

"Maybe she just needs to sleep, get a clearer head," Kanan suggested.

"Maybe," Hera agreed. She was starting to get worried.

~.~

After the dishes had been clean and Kanan declared he was going to head in early, either to bed or to meditate, sometimes they couldn't always tell, Zeb and Ezra thought that they would try to see Sabine before they went to bed themselves while Hera went to finish checking up on the electrical work.

The two boys walked to Sabine's door and stared at each other for a moment before Zeb finally knocked at the door. There was a bit of silence on the other side before Sabine called back.

"Yes?"

"Hey, Sabine, it's me and Zeb," Ezra called back. "We were wondering if we could come in."

"What for?" Sabine asked, confused.

"Just…" Ezra looked at Zeb, not really knowing what to say. The answer of 'to make sure you were okay' didn't seem like a good answer that would not make her feel worse or more embarrassed and helpless about the situation.

"We just wanted to talk with you," Zeb answered.

There was silence from the other side and Zeb was starting to think that maybe their efforts would go unrewarded, but soon they heard the other voice.

"Okay…come in."

Her voice was weak and not at all convincing, but Zeb and Ezra took advantage of the invitation. Ezra opened the door and the two looked into the room before taking a step inside. Sabine was sitting on her bed, curled up at the one side. She had taken off her handkerchief in the past couple of hours and now the boys could se her new hair. Zeb was surprised about how short it was. It was even shorter than Ezra's. He thought that the damage wasn't that bad, that she could level it with the length being a little longer.

Sabine didn't look at them, she just sat with her legs to her chest. In the silence, she finally asked, "what is it?"

The two were silent again before Ezra took a couple of steps forward to get a better look at her new hair.

"I think it looks cute," Ezra told her. Zeb smiled as well.

Sabine rolled her eyes, a small frown on her face.

"Ezra, not now," she told him. She was not in the mood for his flirtatious banter.

But instead, the Jedi stepped forward.

"No, I'm not talking about it like that," Ezra promised her. "Seriously, Sabine, it looks good on you."

She scoffed, wiping the last tear from her cheek. She set the mirror down and looked up at him.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Sabine answered him as she rolled her eyes.

"No, really," Ezra insisted as he smiled, "it brings focus to your eyes. Your face looks more pronounced and your eyes look bigger."

Zeb nodded.

"Kid's right," he agreed, leaning against the door a bit. Sabine turned to him too and Zeb gave her a wide smile. "It's a cute hairstyle. Suits you a bit too."

Sabine wrinkled her nose a bit.

"I think it makes me look mousy," Sabine admitted sadly.

Zeb shook his head.

"No…well…" he tried to find his words, "it doesn't stand out as much, but it brings focus to your face. And your face is more than fierce if you want it to be."

Sabine couldn't help but let out a giggle, a small smile on her face. She stared up at them and her smiled widened a little. After how worried the two were about how Sabine was acting and how upset she was, her smile was infectious. They were glad even from what she looked like when they first came in the room how Sabine was smiling. It was a positive change and one that Zeb was really happy to see. He never liked seeing the rest of the crew sad or upset, much less Sabine. She was always strong and was always there for them. He wanted to make sure he was there for her. He understood the idea of hair. His hair showed who he was and where he was from. His patterns showed his family heritage. It was a part of his identity as Sabine made her hair a part of hers.

"I think it looks cute," Ezra told her, " and I like how it brings out your eyes."

"Yeah, you can definitely see the fire in them now. Your bangs sometimes hid it," Zeb told her.

Sabine's smile widened slightly, the edge of her lips tugging upwards a bit more.

"Thanks guys," she whispered.

Ezra grinned and told her, going back into a playful flirty mood, "hey, no problem. Always come to me when you want compliments."

Sabine pretended to make a mean face while she leaned over slightly in her bed to try and hit him on his head. Ezra ducked and moved back though, Sabine giggling at the play. Zeb was glad that Ezra was able to bring Sabine back to a sense of normalcy and joking around the ship. He hoped it would show her that things hadn't changed. How they viewed her didn't change.

"See, you can see the fierceness in them easily," Zeb told her.

"Good, I think I need it," Sabine giggled.

"Hey, I gave you a compliment, be nice," Ezra joked, hitting at her hand that was going to hit him.

Sabine tried to bring it down again, but yet again Ezra ducked with a smile on his face.

"Fine, I'll leave. I know when I'm not appreciated," Ezra teased.

"Shut up," Sabine laughed.

"Let's just get out of here before she ends up killing you," Zeb told Ezra.

The teens smiled and Ezra nodded, "yeah, yeah. Like she could."

"Don't test me," Sabine joked.

Zeb grinned and looked back at the Mandalorian. His tone got a bit more serious and he told her, "you going to be okay for the night?"

Sabine nodded, relaxing a bit as she sat on the bed, "Yes. Thanks, Zeb."

The Lasat nodded and ended on another joke. As he turned around and Ezra walked past him, he told her, "alright. Night fuzz-head."

He heard her as he shut the door and walked down the hall, "you call me that again, Zeb, I'll kill you with your own bo-rifle!"

The Lasat and teen looked at each other and grinned before laughing. Zen gently pushed the teen's shoulder and Ezra pretended to hold it like he was hurt.

"Hey, watch it!" he teased.

The two walked into their room and Zeb chuckled. He relaxed slightly, glad that he was able to make Sabine smile. As Ezra made his way to his bunk, Zeb looked at his bunkmate's helmet collection as he walked past. He always looked at them now and then, despite that it rarely got larger. But for some reason he looked at them longer. He remembered a couple of times where Sabine had asked, or more or less begged, Ezra if she could try some colour on them, but Ezra had refused.

Somehow, it brought him to remember the handkerchief that she wore to dinner and he got an idea.

Zeb moved back out of the room and Ezra regarded him with raised eyebrows.

"Where are you going?" Ezra asked.

"I'll be back in a moment," Zeb answered, though it was a lie. If Hera agreed with his request then he wouldn't be back for hours.

Ezra didn't say anything more before Zeb shut the door behind him.

Zeb made his way through the Ghost to the engine room, where Hera was still in her uniform and looking over a checklist on the data pad and making some notes, Chopper beside her and talking to her.

"No, it's fine. We can still use it a couple more months," Hera muttered to the droid as she checked something else off. Without looking up, she asked the Lasat, "can I help you with something, Zeb?"

The Lasat rubbed the back of his had, "uh…I was wondering if I could borrow the Phantom."

Hera's one eyebrow raised and she looked up from the data pad now to look at him.

"For what?" she asked.

"I-uh…I wanna get some stuff," Zeb explained.

"Great," Hera told him, "I'm going to need more details."

Zeb scratched the back of his head again before saying, "I, uh, want to get a couple of things. I think it'll help Sabine."

Hera nodded.

"Can I know what it is?" Hera asked.

"I don't want to say in case I can't find everything, but if I can find it I think it'll really help her," Zeb answered.

Hera nodded again and looked down at the datapad, "alright. Yeah, sure, you can take the Phantom. How long do you think you'll be?"

Zeb thought for a moment before answering, "a couple of hours. I'll be going to a couple of mid-posts and planets looking for stuff."

"Just how much are you getting?" Hera asked, looking up again.

"Uh…if I can find everything, a lot," Zeb answered.

Hera raised her one eyebrow again before saying, "…alright. Just don't damage it."

"Got it," Zeb agreed.

The Lasat turned around and was about to leave the room before he stopped at the doorway and turned around.

"Oh, and, uh, I'll be waking you all up a little early tomorrow so I suggest you get some rest like the others," Zeb told her.

Hera stared at him, shocked into a bit of silence before she answered him, "umm…yeah sure okay."

Zeb nodded and patted the side of the doorway before leaving. Hera stared after him before turning to Chopper when he continued beeping.

"No idea," Hera answered, "but whatever it is, he's got a plan up his sleeve."

~.~

"Sabine!"

The Mandalorian groaned as she heard her name in her muddled sleep. She moved her head, her eyes squinting as she looked for the clock. 0600? What was happening? Hera would have been more demanding if there was an attack. But Zeb's voice seemed more carefree.

"Sabine! Wake up!"

There was a banging against the door and she cringed. She moaned, still groggy.

"What?" she called back.

"Come on outside!" Ezra's voice called to her excitedly.

"Come on Fuzz-Head, get out of bed and let's go!" Zeb called to her again.

Sabine shot up and called angrily "Zeb, don't call me Fuzz-Head!" but she could already hear his footsteps and Ezra's running back down the hall.

Sabine groaned and looked at the clock again. It was far too early for this energy. But she knew they would be back and would drag her out of bed if they had to if she didn't get up now. So, she forced herself to move her legs and sat at the edge of the bed, letting her legs hang over the bed for a couple of seconds as she rubbed her eyes, trying to keep herself up. She looked down at her clothing and decided that she should probably change into at least some lounge-like clothes. But for what was happening she doubted that she needed her armour.

After getting dressed, she walked out of her room while putting on a handkerchief and tying it to fit around her head. She walked down the halls, rubbing her eyes again before she saw Hera by the ramp, a large smile on her face and in her own lounge clothes.

"What is going on?" Sabine asked.

"We have a surprise for you!" Hera told her excitedly.

"How are you all this cheery?" Sabine asked as she walked down the ramp.

"Because we know what it is and you'll get excited too," Hera answered, walking with her.

Sabine stared at her, confused. This type of excitement was not like Hera. What were they all doing?

When they walked down the ramp, Sabine looked out around Atollon and saw that in the area around the Ghost there were the others, standing by six small buckets filled with different dyes.

Sabine stared at the buckets of dyes in confusion before her eyes went to the white and grey hats and the small table that held some paint brushes, ties, and other tools. They were in front of a large paper wrap that was behind a line of wire that had some pins on it. It was a well made-set up.

"What is this?" Sabine asked, looking between the crew members, her expression clearly showing how confused she was.

Zeb smiled and moved behind him to grab a basket before showing it to Sabine.

"We thought of an art project that might cheer you up," Zeb answered, a bright smile on his face.

Sabine looked down and saw that in the baskets were white and light grey winter-like hats, handkerchiefs, and small wraps. There were maybe twenty of them, at least more than ten.

It was then the two things clicked together in her mind. Sabine stared at the basket, not realizing that her eyes were starting to get glossy. She looked between the crew members as Zeb put the basket down on the ground.

"You got me hats to decorate since I don't have my hair?" Sabine asked.

"And for us to wear too," Ezra added.

"Yeah, we all are going to decorate and wear hats or wraps with colourful designs on them…at least until your hair grows back and you can dye that again," Hera answered.

"As a motion of solidarity," Kanan agreed, a smile on her face.

"Even Chopper agreed to wear a wrap thing around him," Ezra said. The droid beeped in agreement, though he didn't do so too excitedly.

Sabine stared between the crew members again, her lower lip already starting to tremble. She wiped her eyes with the back of her one hand the instant she felt a tear roll down her cheek.

"You all did this for me?" Sabine asked, a small smile as she looked between them.

Hera motioned to the Lasat.

"It was all Zeb's idea," Hera said with a bright smile on her face. "He took the Phantom out last night and set all this up this morning."

Sabine looked to Zeb and at the centre of attention, his shoulders sunk slightly and he shrugged, "well…uh, I just thought."

Zeb didn't get to finish. Wordlessly, Sabine took the couple of steps towards him and silently wrapped her arms around him. Tears started to leak from her eyes as she felt her entire body feel as though it was floating. She felt so touched, so warm. Zeb stood there, surprised by the sudden affection, his hands still in the air. The other members of the crew watched the hug with admiration, smiles on their faces. After a couple of seconds, Zeb's arms slowly went down and they wrapped around the younger crew member as well. Sabine hid her face against his fur and mumbled, "thank you."

"No problem, kid," Zeb told her gently.

Sabine didn't say anything back. She was just silent and squeezed him a bit tighter. Zeb chuckled and looked down at the basket, "you want to get started?"

Sabine immediately started jumping up and down and answered excitedly, "yes!"

She let go of him, starting to vibrate with excitement as she turned back to the basket. She excitedly picked up a hat and was practically bouncing.

"We need to get started! I want to see you guys dye these!" Sabine answered excitedly.

The others laughed, bright smiles on their faces. Even Chopper made more excited warbled sounds. Sabine bounced over to the dye, starting to think about what designs and colours she could do. During this, Zeb walked to get the paint brushes and told her, "I got these and other things in case you wanted to try splatter painting or something."

Her large eyes widened and she bounced back over to him, a bright smile on her face.

"Yes, _yes_!" Sabine practically sang, "oh, this is perfect! Come on! Come on!"

The others laughed and walked to each other and the dyes, wide smiles on their faces as they started to get together for the art project while Sabine started to ramble excitedly.

"What kind of dye did you get? Is it 'Trembvel's'? Be careful that stuff will stick to your skin for _weeks_ …Ezra do you still have that sling shot thing? That would make a great splatter pattern!"

There was not one single frown on the crew's faces all morning. Sabine didn't know if she had ever felt this happy as she watched her crew, her family, laugh and joke together as they dyed the new hats and handkerchiefs with dye flying towards the plastic wrap. Their hands getting dyed and some marks getting on their arms. Their older clothes getting some splatter on them as well, but no one seemed to care. She couldn't believe how they dropped everything to spend this time and do this project with her and to stand in solidarity with her. They were a team. They were together. What affected one person affected them all and they were showing how she was one of them, how they cared. The smiles were breath-taking and comforting. It was like they were in their own world despite some other rebels walking past and seeing the spectacle and smiling. No, Sabine was sure that she never felt this happy or this _loved_. She didn't know if her own parents and brother would do this, but she could see that the others would do this over and over again no matter how many times Sabine needed it. This was where she was supposed to be. This was who she was supposed to be with. This was her family, the one she was always supposed to have. She was certain of that.


End file.
